And words, little words,
words too small for any hope or promise, not really soothing
but soothing nonetheless.
Richard Siken, “Detail of the Woods”
I looked at all the trees and didn’t know what to do.
A box made out of leaves.
What else was in the woods? A heart, closing. Nevertheless.
Everyone needs a place. It shouldn’t be inside of someone else.
I kept my mind on the moon. Cold moon, long nights moon.
From the landscape: a sense of scale.
From the dead: a sense of scale.
I turned my back on the story. I sense of superiority.
Everything casts a shadow.
Your body told me in a dream it’s never been afraid of anything.
A Primer for the Small Weird Loves - Crush | Richard Siken
Crush | Richard Siken
you wonder what he’s thinking when he shivers like that
what can you tell me, what could you possibly
tell me? sure, it’s good to feel things, and if hurts, we’re doing it
to ourselves, or so the saying goes, but there should be
a different music here. There should be just one safe place
in the world, i mean,
this world. people get hurt here. People fall down and stay down and i don’t like the way the song goes.
You, the moon. You, the road. You the little flowers
by the side of the road. You keep singing along to that song I hate. Stop singing.
cut me open and the light streams out.
stitch me up and the light keeps streaming out between the stitches.
i sleep. i dream. i make up things
that i would never say. i say them very quietly.
The trees in the wind, the streetlights on,
the click and flash of cigarettes
being smoked on the lawn, and just a little kiss before we say goodnight.
it spins like a wheel inside you: green yellow, green blue,
green beautiful green.
it’s simple: it isn’t over, it’s just begun. it’s green. it’s still green.
you’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you. and you feel like you’ve done something terrible, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, or shoveled yourself a grave in the dirt, and you’re tired. you’re in a car with a beautiful boty, and you’re trying not to tell him that you love him, and you’re trying to choke down the feeling, and you’re trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you don’t even have a name for.